EMDR basic skill & Readiness kit
Are you considering giving Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) a try? Have you heard great things about how it can help people reframe a false narrative (Ex. “I am worthless”) and desensitize intense emotions or body sensations related to unresolved trauma? Or have you heard horror stories about how it completely flooded someone emotionally and physically because they weren’t yet prepared for this type of therapy? Whatever your experience or understanding of reprocessing is, I can help you gain a clearer picture of the basic skills necessary for successful reprocessing of traumatic memories.
The first skill we will work on is a commitment to building a safe therapeutic relationship. Being able to talk openly and allow your body to feel safe enough is key for post-traumatic growth (the positive psychological changes someone might experience after their crisis or trauma is over) to occur. If you’re interested in learning more, here’s an article from Psychology Today that goes into further detail about post-traumatic growth. As an EMDR certified clinician, I aim to build a strong, trustworthy foundation before moving toward reprocessing. This means we spend time getting to know your strengths, areas of challenge and building a resource bank to help support you in your work. I also provide education around reprocessing and how memory networks can get maladaptively stored in the brain based on negative experiences. Fortunately, because EMDR is such an internalized mode of therapy, every detail of the story does not need to be shared, but feeling safe enough to navigate your unique complexities with your therapist is extremely important.
The next skill we’ll develop is being able to notice what your body is telling you so that you can name it. There’s a Cherokee proverb that says, “If you listen to your body when it whispers, you won’t have to hear it scream”. Our brain is in constant communication with the rest of our body (about 80% of what’s happening in our brain is transferred to our body and only 20% is transferred via the body to the brain) and the more we can name our emotions accurately, the more likely we are to choose healthy ways to deal with them. When we pay attention to what our emotions are telling us, the less likely we will suffer from chronic pain, mental illness or other unfortunate ailments. A quick strategy to notice how or what you feel, is becoming aware of your external surroundings. Are there colors, shapes, or energies you are drawn to? Textures? Smells? Tastes? Once you notice externally, try turning inward and notice any internal shifts. Is your heart rate increasing or slowing down? Is your breath shallow or deep? Is there more fidgetiness or greater stillness in your body? Did any tension in a certain muscle or area of your body increase or decrease? How do you know? Simply notice and track the data without judgment.
Here’s a handy graphic, you can save and use as a helpful reminder on how to build external and internal awareness in order to notice and name.
Once you master how to notice and name, the next step to cultivate is being able to feel and flex with difficult emotions. This means feeling safe enough to allow vulnerable emotions to be present, while sitting with them and learning to control them in a healthy way. In order to do this, you’ll work on being coachable and open to practicing regulation skills outside of the therapeutic setting.. (A note on regulation: Regulation does not necessarily mean calm or relaxed, although it can mean that. Regulation means being able to notice, name, feel an emotion, and know how to handle it in a healthy way. For example, feeling angry and choosing to walk away, take a deep breath, or visualize a safe-calm place.) Breathing techniques, guided visualizations, and learning other helpful strategies on how to contain and control difficult emotions is vitally important for successful reprocessing. Building the capacity to sit with uncomfortable emotions is one of the most challenging and rewarding parts of healing.
Here is an example of a breathing exercise you might practice in session and then continue to practice in every day life (and again, I’ve created a handy graphic for you to save and use):
If needed, adjust the breath count to what feels most comfortable in your body and spend time practicing this when you’re in the car, right before you go to sleep at night, or any time you think of it. If you were open to engaging in this kind of technique, then it’s a good indication you might be ready to give EMDR reprocessing a try.
Finally, the last skill you’ll find yourself embracing is trusting the EMDR process. Our brains and bodies want to heal. They are amazing and capable of so much more than we are aware of or even believe. Trauma work is extremely personal and tender, and every person’s body is different. Healing isn’t linear and it has no time frame. It’s messy and hard. Healing also gives us more space to focus on the best and most beautiful parts of life. In Glennon Doyle’s words, “It’s brut-iful [brutal and beautiful].”
To learn more about how I can support you on your healing journey, using EMDR, please reach out for a free 15 minute consultation via phone (303) 847-5224 or email (wildstrengththerapy@gmail.com I look forward to hearing from you soon!